Thanksgiving

Carver went home with his mom this morning. It was a bittersweet day for us--a little more bitter than sweet. We are sadder than we imagined we could be, but at the same time we are so grateful that we were able to take care of Carver for the week we had him, and we are happy for his mom to have him back. We have no regrets over the events of the past week and our involvement in them. He was a joy to have in our home, and we hope and pray that God will use this situation to draw his mom to himself. I'm sure the sadness we feel can't be compared with what she felt when giving him up.

I (Jill) am not usually an overly emotional person and don't cry often. However, I am finding that I can barely stop crying since yesterday. I have found great comfort in Psalm 56:8 which says "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" I know that God sees and cares, and in the midst of my sadness I have great hope and much comfort.

In preparing for adoption, we went through training, read books, and talked about the importance of guarding our hearts until any potential adoption was finalized. We have learned much by actually walking through this process, and God has been so gracious to us. When we first learned that Carver's mom chose us to adopt him, there was much uncertainty as to whether or not she would go through with it. God helped us to guard our hearts, and there was really not much of an emotional struggle. After Carver came home with us, however, we found that we had to open ourselves to him on a deeper level to really care for him. Even though we knew the adoption could still fall through, every day we had him brought us more hope that he would stay, and we loved him like he was our own. We are not sorry that we did this, and though we are experiencing much sadness now, there is much joy and hope in the midst of it.

We know that God does all things well, and we know his plans are perfect. Thank you all so much for praying for us and encouraging us. It means more to us than you can imagine. We hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow. We will be spending it with our families and giving thanks to God, "who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32).

~Jill and Stephen